A Lesson In Giving

 by Chris Jones

I realized I was in the middle of making a huge mistake by not taking my son’s money. Actually, my awareness was mostly peaked by the hole my wife’s eyes were burning into me. She saw it before I did. My son was growing into the man I pray he will be, and I was standing in his way.

Working in the finance industry, I make every attempt to raise my sons with a good sense of value and proper money management. Similarly, being a Christian, I try to take advantage of each chance to build a strong sense of charity into their daily habits. Every month, they learn exactly what amount of their allowance to set aside as tithe to their youth ministry, and how to make wise decisions with what the have left. So, when my eleven-year-old handed me five dollars, saying, “Dad, I want you to take this and spend it on something just for you,” the finance guy in me immediately thought, “Buddy, I don’t want you to just give your money away. You need to learn the value of your hard work, earning your allowance.”

Some piece of that “logic” was even coming out of my mouth when my wife’s wide eyes signaled the error I was making. For as much as I talk to them about the importance of having and the blessings that follow a generous spirit, I was in the process of blocking one of them from that experience becoming real in his life. Humbling myself, I took five, hard-earned dollars from the hand of this young man who just seconds before, had walked into my kitchen as a little boy.

Should I really be surprised, then, that the very next day, God delivered two blessings He was preparing for my son? First, a new soccer jersey came in that tracking notifications said would take another two weeks to arrive. Later, we found “THE” soccer cleats he wanted, for about half the price he expected. Certainly, such occurrences could easily be dismissed as coincidence. Thankfully, this eleven-year-old boy rightly identified them as God’s providence and encouragement to grow in charity. Meanwhile, his father was thanking God for leading us both through a lesson in giving.

Fathers, Don’t Miss This

 by Chris Jones

It’s unfortunate that the majority of fathers have fallen into positions of only managing “dad duties”, rather than truly leading their families. We’ve become referees, chauffeurs, babysitters, coaches, repair men, financial managers, judges and juries, chief TV remote operators, master grillers… the list is endless. It all conjures the image of a father as “King of the Castle”. Take caution though. This is no throne you should wish to usurp.

As leaders of our families, our responsibilities have literal and lasting “Kingdom” implications. Strong families are the backbone of truly successful churches, and effective communities. As a father, if you’re missing these next points, you might be missing what it means to be the leader in your home.

Primarily, a godly father will love his wife. Ephesians 5:25 says “for husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” I believe the greatest gift a father could ever give his children is to love their mother. The confidence of knowing their home is secure, provides the best foundation for every lesson to follow.

Secondly, Ephesians 6:4 says, “fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord” Warning: this means you need to be there first, under His authority, leading by example. A godly father isn’t going to respond to disobedience as a knee-jerk reaction, born of frustration, as his anger boils over. He’s grounded in the Word, having no need to fish for behavioral guidelines, since they’re clearly provided for us. Trust in God and His Word. Set them as the standard by which you lead your family.

As fathers, God’s blessing is that He allows us to partner with Him in raising the men and women of His Kingdom. On earth, we call them our sons and daughters. Be assured, however, that this is only a temporary relationship. We have a responsibility, and are accountable to God for the warriors our homes produce. What will you do with the gift you’ve been given, the opportunity to lead them?

A Father In His Image

 by Chris Jones

Parents, how many times have our reactions to our children been triggered in a moment of our own frustration or anger? I’d guess that, in an easy majority of those instances, we’ve reacted with emotion and consequences that were well disproportionate to the perceived offense. Let it stand as reason enough to live in the power of The Holy Spirit, relying on His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness and self-control to rule over the emotions we’d otherwise release.

Ephesians 6:4 says, “And now a word to you fathers. Don’t make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord.

A comment to this verse in my Life Application Study Bible says, “The purpose of parental discipline is to help children grow, not to exasperate and provoke them to anger or discouragement. Parenting is not easy. It takes lots of patience to raise children in a loving, Christ-honoring manner. But frustration and anger should not be causes for discipline. Instead, parents should act in love, treating their children as Jesus treats the people he loves. This is vital to children’s development and to their understanding of what Christ is like.”

I like the way Paul’s letter is interpreted in Colossians 3:21 (NLT), where he warns, “Fathers, don’t aggravate your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying.”

God, help us to love like you love and discipline like you discipline. Help us to nurture the tender spirits in our children. Help us to always build, and never tear down. Holy Spirit, help us exhibit the image and character of Jesus in our interactions with those over whom we’re in positions of authority. Allow us to clearly see the mercy and grace we’ve been shown by the Father, and dispense guidance and correction accordingly. I pray that your peace and presence will rule in our homes, as we yield ourselves to Your Holy Spirit. Amen.

True Greatness

 by Chris Jones

As Mother’s Day approaches, I’m reminded that greatness is a relative concept.  The word itself implies something remarkably different in scope or dimension, from what we might considered ordinary.  It creates a perception that greatness isn’t for us, that we’re destined to commit our lives to common endeavors, supposing greatness is reserved for better people, more important people.  It’s necessary, then, to bring to the light of reality, just how great and uncommon are these tasks to which we’ve been called.

To whom might one turn to shift these perceptions?  Who has the wisdom to shape the generations?  It’s Mr. Rogers, of course.

My boss gave me a book called “The World According to Mr Rogers”.  It’s saturated with deep, simple thoughts.  Among them is this:

“A high-school student wrote to ask, ‘What was the greatest event in American history?’  I can’t say.  However, I suspect that like so many ‘great’ events, it was something very simple and very quiet with little or no fanfare (such as someone forgiving someone else for a deep hurt that eventually changed the course of history).  The really important ‘great’ things are never center stage of life’s drama; they’re always ‘in the wings’.  That’s why it’s so essential for us to be mindful of the humble and the deep rather than the flashy and the superficial.”  (Rogers, Fred. The World According to Mr. Rogers: Important Things to Remember. New York: MJF Books, 2003, p 144)

Greatness happens every day, everywhere there’s a loving mother.  Greatness happens as children are being read to and tucked in at night.  Greatness happens during conversations around the dinner table.  Greatness happens every time a scraped knee is kissed and bandaged.  It’s happening when homework is being checked and teacher conferences are being attended.  Greatness is happening as mothers with careers inside and outside their homes, work to ensure needs are being met.  Greatness happens when mothers pray that their families will always know a loving home, and extend that love to those who don’t.

Thank God for Mothers who make greatness an everyday occurence.  Your dedication to family is sunlight to the darkest places on Earth, as your children spread the love you’ve deposited in their hearts.  To measure the impact you’ve had in the world is an impossible task.  This is why I stop and say, thank you loving mothers, for demonstrating true greatness.

Life, More Delicious

 by Chris Jones

I have a certain routine, when I get to the office each morning.  As I start work, I have a bowl of oatmeal and a glass of water.  It’s not instant oatmeal from a package.  I have a big tube of plain, whole oats in my desk.  It’s a pretty bland breakfast…until I add the fruit.  A fresh peach, banana, apple or strawberries transforms this otherwise flavorless breakfast into something that truly gives each morning a needed boost.

Life has it’s ups and downs.  Sometimes we’re riding the wave.  Other times we’re being tossed by it.  Regardless of the quality of the lives we live, they’re always better with a little fruit.

As Christians we have the option of living everyday, boosted by the Fruit of the Spirit.  Galatians 5 tells us this fruit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

I challenged a group of high-school and twenty-something-year-old men to consider the “flavor” the Holy Spirit brings to our lives.  Those men come to a basketball ministry I run.  The easy majority of them are the types of guys most would consider at-risk or disadvantaged, from most socio-economic standards.  These guys might not be the type to see patience or goodness or gentleness as very masculine qualities.  I encouraged them to know that a man who is patient, is a better man.  A man who is kind and shows goodness, is a better man.  A man who understands the power expressed through self-control and gentleness, is a better man.

It’s true for all of us.  The Fruit of the Spirit makes our lives, better lives.

Why, then, do we settle for anything less?  The help and power of the Holy Spirit is one prayer away, in any moment.  Imagine being on the verge of snapping at the kids when a simple prayer brings patience and the time you need to more carefully consider your response.  Picture being caught in afternoon traffic, as self-control and peace allow you to sit back and enjoy the day.  The Holy Spirit offers love and goodness, so we may show it to those in need.  He offers joy that lasts through any storm.  He makes life more delicious.

Community

 by Chris Jones

My sister posted a picture on facebook the other day, in the spirit of “Throwback Thursday”.  It was an image of her and a couple of neighborhood friends playing in our yard when we were children.  When I saw the picture, memories flooded back.  I recalled summer nights, when we would play outside with the other neighborhood kids, well after the sun went down.  I remembered jumping into piles of leaves in the fall and building snowmen in the winter.  The sense of community we enjoyed as kids visited me like an old friend, the instant I saw that photo.

Dictionary.com defines community as “social, religious, occupational, or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived or perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists.”  Isn’t it so much more than that though?  Community is where you borrow a tool you don’t have, or a cup of sugar when you’re running low.  Community is where people come together, pooling their resources during a bad storm.  Community is where neighbors arrange dinners for the one among them who is going through a difficult time.

That kind of community is a special thing.  It doesn’t happen by accident.  It’s seems missing in many neighborhoods, as families retreat indoors to spend “tech-gether” time, each being distracted by our respective electronic devices and the digital communities in which we find our social identities.  The problem: those communities are limited.  Certainly, they serve a purpose, but nothing like the community we can have among our neighbors, to touch one another’s lives in more personal ways.  That community is built through shared experiences, and time spent getting to know one another.  It’s a community worth the investment of our time and personal resources, where our kids learn the importance of people depending on each other. 

It makes me wonder.  What concept of community are we building among our children?  Will they only know the community where we keep one another at a comfortable distance, finding ourselves without meaningful support when trouble comes?  Are we robbing them of the experience of seeing their parents making themselves available to meet the needs of those around them?  How will that understanding of community affect what they think about the Kingdom of God?  I think the way we define and interact with our community is more important than we might realize. 

So, tell me what you think.  How do you define community?  What role does community play in your life?  What role do you play in your community?

Next Generation

 by Chris Jones

I had a cool experience Sunday.  I participate as a member of the video team at our church.  Yesterday, I had my eleven-year-old son in the booth with me, running video.  This was his second week in “big church”, since he graduated from kid’s church at the beginning of this school year.  He did an awesome job!  He got the words up for all the songs.  He was ready for every transition.  He followed Pastor through his notes.  Needless to say, I was a very proud daddy.

During worship I brought his attention to all the people around the altar, praising God.  I made sure he took a second to look down and see what was happening.  I wanted him to understand his contribution to that moment.   God was obviously touching lives, and he played no small part in creating an atmosphere for it.

It’s easy to miss the role we play in God working in people’s lives.  He puts us in the right places at the right times, as He moves according to His will.  I want my sons to always recognize the contributions they make to the Kingdom of God.  I don’t want them to think they have to be front and center to have an impact.  I want them to understand that every link in the chain is important, no matter how inconsequential it may seem to us.

I know he’ll remember these lessons, and pray that he’ll always determine, as it says in Colossians 3:23-24, to do everything for the Lord.

Experience Makes All The Difference

 by Chris Jones

My boys are getting too big!!! I can’t believe my oldest is entering Middle School this year. One definite consolation is that my wife and I LOVE the school he’s going to. Our first opportunity to visit was at an open house they conducted last year. We love the classes they offer. We love the administrators. We love the teachers. We love the reputation and reviews we’ve heard from other students and families. All of our experiences have been extremely positive so far.

Despite the great feelings my wife and I have developed, our son was less enthusiastic. No kid wants summer to end, for sure. Whenever we asked if he’s excited about starting at his new school next week, he responded with equal parts of looking forward to seeing his friends again, and fear of the unknown. Well, that all changed when we visited for orientation Tuesday night. He loved the building. He loved his classrooms. He loved his locker. He loved his teachers. He loved seeing his friends. Through his experience, he was able to confirm for himself what my wife and I already knew to be true.

Sometimes you just have to experience something for yourself before you really get it. It’s that way with God. If you’ve never experienced a life with Him, you have no idea what you’re missing. Take some time to visit with him today. Take some time to read His Word (The Bible). Tell him about your fears and frustrations. There’s no wrong way to do it and he’s always available. My experience tells me that He’s more real than you know. Have your own experience with God. It’ll make all the difference.

Father and Son

 by Chris Jones

I spent the weekend celebrating the birthday of one of my best friends in the whole world, my nine-year-old son. Both of our boys are tremendous blessings to my wife and me. I sincerely hope I can teach them half of what God is teaching me through the gift of being their father. With them, I feel I better understand the relentless love God has for us.I take very seriously the role I play in their lives.

Just as God is teaching me about being a father, I want them to understand their position as His children. I want them to be confident of His total provision for their lives, understanding their best course is in complete obedience to His will. I try to not miss an opportunity to further refine the example I attempt to set for them, of God as a loving father.

My favorite moments come when I pray with them each night. I see the evidence that God is answering those prayers. I want them to sink in deeply. They’re simple, but powerful. I pray…”Dear Jesus, watch over and protect this precious little buddy of mine. Thank you for everything he says and does. Let it all be for your glory. I pray that You’ll keep him safe. I pray that he’ll grow up strong and healthy and loving you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

You’re being watched!!!

 by Chris Jones

As parents, like it or not, for better or worse, your children are always watching.  Your every word and action is recorded and evaluated.  Your witness is among the weightiest evidence they’ll have as a basis for their belief in God.  Will they have a proper context within which they can accept a revered, almighty, powerful, sovereign God as a loving, gracious, merciful Father?

In Matthew 22:29-30, when responding to the Sadducees’ challenge concerning the resurrection, Jesus seems to suggest that we don’t understand the eternal nature of our temporary, earthly relationships.  If we believe the Bible, we know that everything we have is God’s.  Since this also applies to our families, before we consider our children ours’, we need to recognize them as men and women of God’s Kingdom.  We have a great responsibility to live before them as an example of Christ, being quick to recognize and apologize when we fail.

Do you commonly speak judgmentally and out of frustration to them, or with grace and understanding?  What habits are they seeing?  How do they see you treat your spouse?  What do they hear you say about others?  Let your witness to them be powerful and decisive.  Let there be no room for gray.  You will either lay a solid foundation for their faith or raise obstacles to it.

Set a clear example for your children.  As they grow, they’ll want to be like you, like Christ.